So… Apparently…

My sensei pointed to me and another white belt today and said, “You guys are going for for the next grading.” And I choked and went, “Are we?!” And apparently that was funny cause everyone laughed.

I don’t think it’s funny.

I don’t even know the basic kata yet. Like, we haven’t learnt it. Or at least, I haven’t learnt it.

We did a bit of meditation during class today. That felt really good. I like that its not all about the physical, but also the mental and spiritual. That’s really what I look for in a dojo, I suppose. Martial arts isn’t just simply a sport. It’s an art.

I’ve noticed that when I’ve had a pretty shitty day at work, I still drag myself to class and by the end of it, I’m all happy again. This probably won’t be the case when I’m on my period, I reckon. But in really glad I took this up. Really, really glad.

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So it’s been two weeks.

So, my karate journey has reach its two week mark. How I am feeling about it after these two weeks? Hmmmm… It’s hard to put into words I suppose. My body is feeling the effects of it. I’m not losing weight yet, but I do want to increase the amount of training I do. At the moment however, that isn’t possible, so I have to stick with my twice a week training.

I am adding short fifteen/twenty minute runs on some days when I’m not in the dojo, however. I haven’t been very good at keeping it up, but I am glad that I am adding more. I also want to do more core body workouts, as well as train myself to do push ups.

How am I feeling about my progress is a whole different matter. I try to practice a little bit before I start work each day, but there are some things I’m just not getting. It’s really hard and challenging.

So far we’ve learnt a front kick and a roundhouse kick. The low block, and the normal punches. I have so much more to work on before I can get any of it right! Most importantly I would like my form to be correct before anything else.

I do hope to make it up a belt level, or half a belt level, by the time of the grading, which I think is at the end of June. I could be wrong.

I know, the belt doesn’t really mean anything. I should focus on technique etc. but I guess, the belt would then be a sort of… Reward for hard work put in?

Anyway, enough. I’m doing my best and that’s what matters.

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Officially a White Belt!

So I signed up in the second school that I trialled! First impressions wasn’t really accurate. The instructors were really friendly. The only thing is, because of how big the class is, you can tell there are cliques. Maybe they joined together and were friends outside of the dojo before they joined.

I’m not happy with my progress though. I want to get it right. We’ve only pretty much learnt two things and I need major refinement on both of them. My front kicks doesn’t have enough of a hip thrust and my punches need better form. I know, I’m expecting too much of myself. It’s only been three classes.

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Trialling Karate Pt.2!

So I went for a trial class in another school – I think I like this one. The people aren’t friendly. The class is bigger and you don’t get as much attention I suppose! But I find that I learnt more. The private lesson with the instructor was more detailed. He corrected a lot of my little foibles. And I found it a lot more enjoyable learning experience. Even though the experience wasn’t as open and welcoming as the first school I went to, I found learning was easier and more systematic. It helped that the people looked fitter as well. The first class I went to, the people didn’t look as fit and the whinged while doing the warm ups. I don’t know. Hmmmm. Time to see which feels right.

Posted in Life

Trialling Karate.

So I went for a trial martial arts lesson. I chose Karate, after doing a bit of research on the various types of martial arts.

The instructor was really nice and patient. I learnt four blocks and a basic kata. The class was small and very friendly.

But the classes are on Monday and Thursday for an hour. I don’t know if I can make it those times!

I’m trialling another school on Tuesday. They start a bit later and are on Tuesdays and Thursdays so it works a bit better for me.

We’ll see how it goes. I wish I had enough money to go for taichi as well. But this will have to do until James starts working again.

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Are You Happy?

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I started journaling my thoughts recently, and I thought maybe if share this one with all of you. It’s not so mug a private thing, just perhaps a ramble thing. Enjoy, if you so choose to.

In pursuit of happiness.

What does that mean, exactly? That we’re each chasing a dream that one day we might feel pure bliss? Doesn’t that imply that we don’t already have happiness in our lives?

When we look all around us, there’s happiness in all sorts of little corners. We simply just need to look hard enough.

Remember all those little mini essays they used to make us write when we were little kids? Always on the same topic, “What I Want To Be When I Grow Up”. Mine was very simple – I always said that I wanted to be happy. On hindsight, I realized why.

As a child, I looked up at grown ups, and they all seemed miserable. They didn’t have that joy, that spark in their eyes anymore. It was gone. It was like they were dead.

But the thing about being happy is that you need the other moments in your life, the other not happy moments, so that when you are happy, you savour it’s sweetness just that much more.

I had an interesting read today on the Internet about how we seem to be teaching our kids that happiness is supposed to be a default position and that is bullshit. Happiness is one of the nice little things that don’t really teach us much. It’s in pain that we grow. But when we experience pain, we immediately insist on moving on, and cheering up.

To an extent, I agree with it. I suppose, what I’m saying is be happy. Actually BE happy. Don’t wait for that miracle day to happen. But don’t diss the struggles you go through in life too, because they make you, you.

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I Came To Win – I Believe I Can Fly – Get Ready For It

This is going to be a sort of my thoughts of the latest Glee episode – Season 03, Episode 14, On My Way.

I like Glee, not to the extent where I would call myself a fan, but I do like the show. It’s a really brave show because it takes a lot of stereotypes in the world, especially in America, and shoves it in your face and go “Look at how ridiculous you’re being.” It shows us that behind everyone, whether it’s the popular kids or the outcasts, they’re all going through something, and we can appreciate where they are coming from.

The writing, I do find, isn’t as good as it was back in the first season, but it doesn’t take away from how brilliant the cast are when they’re singing. The songs that they sung during the regionals blew me away, and brought a tear to my eye. I love the theme – inspiration.

The mash up Fly/I Believe I Can Fly was amazing. Here’s to Us really touched me so much. The cast puts in so much emotion to the songs, and even though it’s part of a studio recording, it still comes through. Big kudos on them for such their stellar performances.

On the subject of suicide – I thought they handled it quite well. They showed what people do these days that might have lead up to someone wanting to take their own life. That not everyone is as strong as someone like Kurt, who was able to handle the constant bullying without the need to end his life. I do hope kids these days learn that what they may consider a simple prank, or a harmless comment may lead someone over the edge.

They also showed the different viewpoints of everyone around the person that tried to take his life. From Quinn’s anger at his selfishness, to Kurt’s empathy, and even touching Rachel and Finn enough to want to seize the day and have a quick wedding together. There will definitely be various ways this would impact someone, but I did felt that they touched on it enough.

As much as I don’t like Will’s character, he did a good job with showing the kids that there are so many new experiences in life and thinking of what they’re looking forward to to help them get out of whatever dark place they might come across one day.

Sure, it perhaps may not give gay kids much hope that they’ll be accepted by society – but it does paint a realistic picture of the worst case scenario that they can come across.

I guess at the end of the day, I really like the message of this episode – enough to get my butt off my writer’s block and actually write something about it.

“I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive.
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise.
To Fly. To Fly.”

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Life Skills

My parents thought that the most loving thing for me was to give me a good education, so that I can get a well paying job, and hire people to do things for me. And while that is completely valid, I’m at a point now where I’m living with James, completely not knowing how to cook, clean, etc, etc.

Therefore whenever I’m in the kitchen and it doesn’t burn down, I’m happy. There was a really great sense of satisfaction when my mash potatoes came out really yummy. Or my carbonara. Coming from someone who had not stepped into the kitchen, pretty much her whole life, that’s pretty big.

And now I just scrubbed the shower screen and walls, and I’m feeling a really great sense of accomplishment as well. Not that he needs to, but having a little bit of appreciation from James would be nice, but I reckon he’s too male to notice the different state of cleanliness in the house.

Posted in Life

I’m Letting What Other People Think Get To Me.

 

I’m feeling a little bit invalidated today. Well, not just today per se, but over the last fortnight or so. It hasn’t been easy, moving over to Australia just so that I can be with Kingy, and there are people here that just simple don’t get that.

To them, I do a lot of things out of the ordinary. I’m weird. I like weird things. Some even reckon that I’m doing what I can to change Kingy to be something that fits in my world (which is really silly, I like to think, because if I didn’t love him for who he is I wouldn’t bother coming here until he became someone I did love). And they just don’t see the immense amount of things I have give up just to be with him.

1. Friends. Yes, I know, there’s MSN and Facebook and stuff. But it’s not the same as going out with them. And I’m pretty rubbish to chat with when I’m online, but in person, you’ll have a fun time trying to get me to shut up. I hardly know anyone here, and pretty much 97% of the people I do know are not of my same age group. And the friends here, they’re good and all, but it’s not the same as the friends I had grown up with, gotten in trouble in school together, shared secrets with etc. It’s just not the same.

2. Food. There’s just so much that they don’t have here. And constantly eating fast food is not something I enjoy. In Singapore, I used to have pizza maybe two or three times a year, not every week. Me wanting to eat Asian stuff when I’m here is because I very rarely eat Western food in my entire twenty two years in Singapore. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy Western cuisine, I just don’t enjoy fast food (except on occasion).

3. Family. I left behind a mother that is very much emotionally dependant on me (hopefully less so now so that she can be her own person, yes, mom I know you’re reading this and I do hope that you’ve started to become your own person more that I’m not around for you to lean on as much) just so that I can be with Kingy.

4. Yuki. I miss my dog so terribly every day. She’s like a little sister to me and every time I see a dog over here I get so excited just cause it reminds me of her and all her stupidity and cuteness.

5. Career. I left a career that was slowly becoming more concrete and stable to the land of the unknown and no income for the amount of time it takes for me to get my residency and get a job here. That’s the financial freedom I had to give up because being dependant on someone else’s income is really shitting me to tears every single time I see something that I want, or need.

So yes, I pretty much left behind the life I have lived for the past twenty two odd years in Singapore just so I can be with this man that I love. I’ve come to this place, to live in a part of the city where Asian things are not common (I can’t go the supermarket and buy rock sugar, and the nearest Asian grocer is a half an hour drive away, for example), and there are just people out there that don’t get that.

Can you imagine you doing that?

I’m weird, and I’m strange to a lot of the people I meet here. And I’m doing the best I can do be comfortable living here without going all ching chong on everyone.

The truly important people know all of this, and I’m grateful and thankful for that. Why am I letting what only a small handful of people think affect me this badly? I guess because some of them I tend to think are important people too. Obviously, some are just not, so this isn’t really about them. It’s about the people who Kingy are close to, who are important to him, and therefore by proxy important to me, too.

I guess, I just have to let it all go. Knowing in my heart that I know what I gave up, Kingy knows what I gave up, that should be all that matters. Letting other people impress their judgement on me when they don’t even realise all of the above mentioned is judging them, and that’s not who I want to be.

They don’t know me, they don’t know my story, and therefore whatever opinion they have of me is based on either what the fabricate in their minds, or based on their opinions on people that are not like them.

I guess I can’t fault them for that.

It does, however, feel a lot better getting that out of my system. So if you’ve made it this far down the post, thank you for reading, and thank you for understanding.

Sending out love to everyone of you,
Lixximajig

Posted in Family, Food, Life, Love | Tagged , , , , ,

My Inability to Distinguish Food that is Spoilt

Let me tell you a story.

There I was, in my home, all happy and chirpy and being my usual self. Minding my own business. And I was a feeling a little bit hungry, right? So off I go to raid the refrigerator. Aha! I found myself a little small cup of yoghurt. Me, being me, happily went to grab a teaspoon and started gobbling down the yoghurt. Well, as much gobbling as you could do with a teaspoon anyway.

So there I was, happily nomming away, and I was thinking to myself, “Wow, this is really nice champagne flavoured yoghurt, with the bubbly sensation and everything!”

Lo and behold, I found out, quite to my dismay, that that was the taste of very, VERY, expired yoghurt.

So I have this talent of being able to wolf down food without the ability to distinguish if they have passed their best before dates. Luckily, now with the internet, I can check up on silly little things like, “How long can I keep _______ in the fridge?”, and the most recent thing that I checked was apples.

Got to love Yahoo! Answers, don’t you?

Well, that’s my story for today, have a little laugh if you would. Cheers! Lixxie xx

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